The Internet, where cat videos reign supreme and questionable website designs run wild. As someone who’s been in this game for almost 30 years, I’ve seen my fair share of disasters. The one thing most of these disasters have in common? They were built by business owners who thought their personal taste mattered more than the user experience.
Disco Lights and Fonts That Make You Squint
Look, it’s your website. You’re paying for it. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: your website isn’t for you. It’s for your customers. And if you’re designing it to match your favourite colours, fonts, or whatever trend you saw on a mate’s Instagram story, you’re likely hurting your business.
Let’s unravel why that’s the case and, more importantly, how to fix it.
Your Website Isn’t an Expression of Your Soul
Some business owners treat their website like it’s the Mona Lisa. “Let’s make it edgy, modern, with lots of colours and cool fonts!” Here’s the thing: your customers aren’t walking into an art gallery. They’ve got a problem, and they’re hoping you’re the person to fix it.
Think about this: when someone lands on your plumbing website, are they really there to admire your bold orange-and-purple colour scheme or the fact that your logo spins when they scroll? No. They’ve got water gushing from their kitchen ceiling, and they need answers—fast.
Ask yourself: does your website answer these three questions within the first 10 seconds?
- What do you do?
- How can I contact you?
- Why should I trust you to do the job?
If the answer to any of these is “no,” your website isn’t working for you.
Sliders, Funky Fonts, and Other Crimes Against Design
Sliders are the design equivalent of avocado bathroom suites: trendy once, useless now. Business owners love them because they “look cool.” But the data says otherwise:
- People don’t wait for sliders to flip through; they scroll past.
- Key information gets buried.
- They’re a nightmare on mobile.
And let’s talk about fonts. If your body text looks like a ransom note, you’re not being creative—you’re scaring customers away. The same goes for clashing colours. Bright yellow text on a neon pink background might make you stand out, but for all the wrong reasons.
The Customer’s Perspective
Let’s flip this around. You’re the customer. You’re scrolling late at night, looking for an emergency boiler repair. You click on a website, and it’s a circus of animations, blinking banners, and an auto-playing video about “innovative heating solutions.” Are you sticking around to find the phone number? Of course not.
Your customers are the same. They don’t have time for faff. They’re looking for clarity, simplicity, and trustworthiness.
5 Ways to Make Your Website Actually Useful
- Get to the Point
Customers don’t care about buzzwords like “synergised solutions” or “future-focused approaches.” They want to know what you do and how you can help them, plain and simple. - Simplify Navigation
If it takes more than two clicks to get to important information, your website is failing. Organise your menus logically and make sure your call-to-action (CTA) buttons stand out. - Be Mobile-Friendly
More than 50% of web traffic comes from mobile devices. If your site doesn’t look and function perfectly on a phone, you’re alienating half your audience. - Show Prices or Ranges
Even if you can’t list exact costs, give potential customers a ballpark figure. Transparency builds trust. - Cut the Bells and Whistles
Animations, autoplay videos, and unnecessary effects slow your site down and frustrate users. Keep it clean and functional.
What Happens When You Ignore This Advice
Imagine you’re a plumber driving around town. You want to stand out, so you cover your van in neon lights, install a fog machine, and add a disco ball. You’d definitely get attention, but not the kind that says, “Trust me to fix your sink.”
Your website is your digital van. If it’s overloaded with unnecessary frills, it doesn’t scream “professional”; it screams “look at me!” Or, better yet, it screams “my website designer wants you to say WOW!“
How to Fix It
If you’re not sure where to start, that’s OK. Most business owners aren’t web designers – and they don’t need to be. That’s why you hire professionals. A good designer will focus on functionality first (along with fixing the bad text), aesthetics second.
Quick parting tip: If your website folks won’t tell you when your text is bad (ie, not reader centric or helpful), fire them. Instantly. They are not helping.
